So…it’s been nearly a month now since I sent my letter to Walkers, and I’ve received no reply. What would a normal person do in this situation? I’ve no idea, but I sent another letter:
Dear Walkers Consumer Services Department
You don’t know me, but three weeks ago, having read a very pertinent piece of information on your highly user-friendly website, i.e. the fact that you love getting letters, I sent you 65 of them that I’d cut out of a popular supermarket’s magazine, together with what I thought was a lovely note and a request for a reply. It has been three weeks now and I have had no such reply. In the spirit of goodwill and benefit of the doubt, I can only assume that my first correspondence has been lost in the post. Hence I have enclosed another 65 letters cut out of a popular supermarket’s magazine with again a request to have fun, and to let me know what sentences you were able to concoct – prize still available.
Yours &c
I await their reply.
Trenton Babbage Enterprises 
How rude of them! I can only imagine that they are having so much fun with the letters that they forgot to reply. You should also get some free crisps.
I should shouldn’t I? The bastards. Too much fun maybe, or they used to work for the co-op in which case they’re just bastards!
Utter bastards! We should inform the Spar about this. They will not be pleased. They might even seek revenge!
Ooo yes; I remember during the KP nuts troubles they made little bombs full of said nuts and hurled them at their supply lorries; you get a shard of smokey bacon crisp in your eye and you know about it!
Yes, vicious things, they are. Walkers need to watch their backs.
no reply?
what sort of outrageous behaviour is this from such a well known company…
i think more people should be encouraged to send them letters to see what happens…
I know!!! What the walkers is going on here? I’ve a good mind to write to my MP, send her 65 letters to play with, have her send a wonderful sentence back within 3 working days, and then forward that to walkers in order to mildly show them up…I’m gonna bloody do it!!!!!
Do it!!
That is certainly the way forward!!!
Hello. I arrived here via the Portergirl Express.
Ah yes, correspondence with these sort of retail outlets is devilishly tricky. The terrible rigours of cyberspace together with the evil clutches of their spam filters (they probably use real spam) leaves your average reply very unlikely-wise. Anyway. Good to be here.
Chris.
It was an actual letter, written on paper with a pen…they were undoubtedly confused by the whole thing. Thank you for coming, have a wander.
Ah, that would account for much confusion. I trust you put enough stamps on the envelope. Of course you did. What am I thinking!
Also. What flavour envelope did you use. If it was chicken they would probably not be impressed. Smokey bacon would be considered an act of terrorism and would have prompted a visit from the police. (Drug squad if it was prawn cocktail). Personally I would have opted for plain.
Yes, I will have a wander. I seem to be doing quite a lot of that these days. Also, feel free to seek me out. My universe is always open, except on Fridays which is early-closing. Chris.
I confess that I did not pay heed as to the flavour of the envelope…damn it all! Well I’m not sending another, I have bacon to write about. And long gone John sounds an interesting chap!