Error 404 (Part 3) – and you need sound in order to read this

There came a loud and, what is presumably the projection of the knocker’s state of mind leading up to and including the knock therefore anthropomorphising it, anxious knock at B.’s door. B. looked through the spy hole and saw a person. This made sense. The man turned towards the spy hole and said, “Please let me in.” In such a way that an anxious knock might say it. B. opened the door and let the man in; he took one last cursory look down the hallway before closing the door firmly and locking it. He stared into B.’s eyes and said, “Thank you, I didn’t know where else to come.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Offering one to B., who accepted, he proceeded to pat himself down in search of a lighter and began to talk; “I’ve got myself into trouble and have tried to go down the usual routes – ah! here.” B. opened the window as he continued. “But umm, it was no use, it was no use, idiots, fucking idiots, sorry, excuse my language…but they are, they don’t know what they’re doing, not like you, but you’re so damn hard to get a-hold of I thought a quick fix would work, but it didn’t so that’s why I’m here and very short of time, but they were just rubbish I don’t know how they can justify what they profess to be able to do, it’s a real skill you know, you can blag it and you don’t know they’re not up to the job until it’s too late, I lost a bit of money but I’ll be getting that back I can tell you, well you know that, you know how it is, you know how it works, you’re a professional, not like those idiots, but anyway, I’m pressed for time and all I can do is moan about shit that doesn’t matter, doesn’t get me anywhere, let me tell you where I’m at…”

“Let’s start again,” B. moved to his writing desk, opened the bottom draw and removed a sheet of paper, he picked up his pen and began to write;

“Have you ever been in this position before?” B, asked, not looking up.

“Not myself, no, but I know a couple of others you’ve helped. It’s kind of well known that you pass people on to old what’s-her-name, Brompton, but it’s also not the done thing to bypass you. I have her number if that’s what you had planned for me?”

B. thought…the cold sweat pooling at the base of his spine didn’t feel so much like the blade of a knife anymore.

“I didn’t know that. Thank you for your honesty. It’s refreshing in this line of work. And yes; I think Brompton would be the best solution in a situation such as this. May I leave you to deal with things from here on out?” B. folded up the sheet of paper and placed it in the top draw.

“Yes of course…umm?” His hand moved to the inside pocket of his coat.

B. gave his most dispassionate glance as the man removed merely an envelope.

“Your fee…I’ve been given a figure but can always get more if I need to?”

B. held out his hand and said, “No, no, that’s quite sufficient, thank you.” He left the envelope on the table as he rose to bid farewell to his unexpected guest.

“Well thanks again, like I say, I was in quite the pile of crap so thank you for all you’ve done, it’s really appreciated,” he held out his hand and they shook. He turned, walked to the door and gripped the handle.

B. said, “Sorry…can I just grab another fag off you? I need to head out but have to make some calls first.”

As the sound of footsteps faded down the hall, B. sat at the desk, lit his cigarette and began to dial.


62 Comments Add yours

  1. Heeeyyyyyy where’s the sound of the footsteps??!! aaannnddd where the hell have you been?!

    1. I’ve done footsteps in a previous video…have you not been paying attention? and that question covers yours…but there is a competition coming up if you wanna win something…?

      1. Apparently I have not but why was it not in this post?? So where have you been? What is this competition you speak of?

        1. Because I’d done it before……! When I’ve the time I will find it for you…i’ve a strange idea that searching for “before bogging” will get you there…? the competition revolves around the issue of reading the letter; it seems you have had no issue?

        2. I read some of the letter not the whole thing, do tell..

        3. …the letter tells all; you think i do this for my health?!

        4. well why else? now i must read the letter..

        5. And it’s part 3…it actually leads on and makes sense if …. … that means anything.

  2. Trent Lewin says:

    I don’t think my brain is quite the same… I could hardly read the letter, and the soundtrack went dead when I popped it open. Feeling queasy, man, feeling queasy… good stuff.

    1. You are allowed to say it’s shit…the letter you should be able to zoom in on; and like I said to behindthemask there’s a competition that may be able to cure all your ills; and what…deep down…do you think the soundtrack is?

      1. Trent Lewin says:

        I just zoomed the letter on my home computer… how long indeed can you keep writing?

        It’s not shit. You know that. It’s different. In some amazing see of sameness, different’s all I want. The rest is killing me, I think. Slowly and not unpleasantly, but killing me.

        1. Different still has to be good though; the words have to sit together right…I’m still undecided as to whether I prefer the Shangri-La stuff. And maybe you should stop reading for a while…unless you know it’s different…I’m sure I’ve asked but have you read Thomas Pynchon? You need time for him though…ignore the question.

        2. Trent Lewin says:

          No, haven’t read him. And won’t, likely. Can’t. Who has time for reading these days?

        1. …a pen writing on paper…

        2. Trent Lewin says:

          Maybe that’s why that sound was so unfamiliar. Pen or pencil? I could imagine a pencil.

    2. i read the whole letter queezy Trent Lewin I zoomed in and read it. now i’m queezy, I don’t think I’m any further ahead for reading it…what the hell TBE?! Time to start making some sense!

      1. Trent Lewin says:

        I dunno Zoe, making sense seems overrated to me. I’d rather wonder, and be filled with the stuff.

        1. lol he is mysterious! 😉

        2. Trent Lewin says:

          Babbage is the man, Zoe. The man.

        3. we are nice aren’t we?

        4. I told her it makes perfect sense…that should clear that up!

      2. Yeah, what Trent said…well…not exactly; it makes perfect sense; which bit don’t you get?

        1. Well…what the competition for one and two, what can’t you help with?

        2. The competition is for the original letter that was written for the post…I can’t help with shelves…at least I wouldn’t want to help with shelves.

        3. have you not actually read the letter?

        4. I did read the letter in total

        5. It said I don’t like putting up shelves…I mean B. doesn’t like putting up shelves……oh shit.

        6. ahaha! I know but why?

        7. boooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.

        8. oh boring…ha poor TB

        9. wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne.

        10. ttttttttttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

          **********TTTTTTaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbboooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww************

  3. Trent Lewin says:

    Oy, you ever gonna pop up?

  4. ahhh… trying to get in touch with you… are you here? or there?

    1. completely missed this one; did you need me?!

      1. I can’t remember…

        1. Ah well; how have you been keeping? have the books been selling?

        2. I have sold a few hundred… and I am doing good… wish I could have seen you when we went to England.

        3. Oh I am glad the books are selling; and yes it would’ve been cool to meet up, you’ll have to come back!!!!

        4. Did you read my posts about our trip? We saw the Queen and the Royal family, saw them filming part of a James Bond movie, traveled around the country, saw another movie being filmed… it was awesome.

        5. no but i saw some of the pictures of you outside the palace! you’ve reminded me, sounds pretty good; did you get into any of your scrapes?

        6. I was on my best behavior… it was my daughter’s trip… and my wife and mom were there… I had adventures, but no scrapes…

        7. I’ve started working my way through it; it’s nice to see a place I know quite well through the eyes of a foreigner; and your daughter does take a good picture, just like her father.

        8. oh… I didn’t know I put up any pictures of her… but thanks…

        9. or do you mean she takes good pictures???

        10. the latter; don’t worry, you haven’t broken the rules!!!

        11. I fall off the latter a lot…

        12. mind your pees and ques… ha

        13. it’s my effs and yous I struggle minding…

        14. not with me, I hope…

        15. not at all; just the hotel guests…

        16. Are they Americans? Because they make the worst guests…

        17. I break down geographical barriers with my panoptic detest of all who stay here…

        18. You are very open-minded in your detestations…

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